Fake a Smile for Me
by Vickerooni
Summary: [WON 1ST PLACE IN CONTEST] In which the war is over, many comrades are dead, and Kakashi and Sakura find themselves gravitating toward one another for reasons other than just familiarity. When Kakashi loses the will to live and takes a dangerous S-rank mission he probably won't come back from, Sakura scrambles for a way to convince him not to go. Can she get through to him in time?
1. What Can I Do?

**Author's Notes: This chapter was written on the prompt of the song "What Can I Do" by The Corrs. Each consecutive chapter will be written with a different song, but the story will be ongoing.**

**Also, I do not own and do not claim to own the songs mentioned, referenced, or Naruto. They belong to their respective owners.**

**Enjoy!**

_**Also, this story will be updated once a week.**_

_**...**_

_His smile never seemed to reach his eye anymore._

Since the war had ended not too long ago, Sakura had grown closer to her previous Sensei, seeking a bit of familiarity among the wreckage that war left Konoha in. The battles that raged on and on took many close friends and family from everyone in the village – Genma included amongst them. Sakura could only assume that this was partly the reason Kakashi hardly saw the light of day anymore.

Every now and then she would run into him at the bar or even just in the street. She would look at him with a gaze loaded with sympathy, as she felt the aching pit of loss in her stomach as well, and she figured he visited the memorial more now than he ever had, which was also part of the reason no one saw him nowadays. Sakura couldn't deny that she had gone to the memorial to spend more hours than she'd slept in the last month, sitting directly in front of it and scowling at her lively reflection when so many dead names stared back at her. Names of warriors – of loved ones.

Kakashi had always had somewhat of a shell encasing him, built up from all the losses he had endured throughout his lifetime. No one questioned why he kept to himself more often than not – except for Sakura. She had known this man since she was a young, superficial little girl and never had he acted quite this withdrawn around her before.

Now, that doesn't mean she searched him out and threatened to punch him through several walls if he didn't get out and socialize, no; she's simply been there for him whenever he has appeared out of his staggeringly sad stupor, which, as she knew, hadn't been that often.

Of course she worried about him – what friend wouldn't? The only hitch there was that, since the war, an attraction had grown toward him that no one would describe as simply friendly if she ever voiced her feelings. But she didn't care what other people thought.

She only cared whether her attraction was reciprocal.

Or not.

Sakura has told herself more times than she could count that her so-called "feelings" toward him were just fueled by sympathy and the fact that they have more in common now due to the deaths of mutual friends. However much that statement may be true, she was only using it as a lie to quash down the real truth bubbling up inside her, threatening to make her burst at the seams and tear her to shreds.

It didn't help that when she _did_ happen upon him, he seemed to stand closer to her, seemed to appreciate her presence in a way he hadn't before. _You're only imagining it, _she would tell herself after a lengthy bout of castigation. And yet the thoughts and memories continued to float to the front of her mind and convince her otherwise.

In the end, Sakura knew how she felt even when she tried futilely to deny it all. It was only a small fraction of the problem for her to profess her _feelings_ for him; most of the issue remained in his stoicism and inability to verbalize everything that had remotely anything to do with emotion. In recent days, she had attempted to subtly begin breaching the subject when she saw him, but it was no use. He may be the famous copy-nin, fearless in battle and no stranger to surprise attacks, but he could not for the life of him pick up an interested hint.

_Maybe it's because he's actually ignoring you, knowing what you're saying and not replying simply due to the fact that he doesn't feel the same way and can't bear to see the heart of his former student break over a crush. Again. _That voice taunted her in her dreams, turning them to roiling nightmares like black rain clouds over an unsuspecting town, and she hated it more than she hated Sasuke's cold, unfeeling black eyes.

Her problem was uncomplicated and most of it she couldn't control even if she tried. The _trouble_ with it, however, was unmistakable. She didn't fear rejection – none of the kunoichi do. What the pinkette truly feared was that if she uttered even a single syllable pertaining to her true feelings for him that it will effectively mutilate their relationship and he would never be able to look at her the same again.

_You'll be nothing but a lovesick cow, forever unsuccessful with men and pining after your Sensei. You'll love him, but he'll never love you back._

"Shut up," she muttered to herself as she traced the names of deceased friends on the slab with her reddened finger for the thousandth time. She was sitting with her knees to her chest, elbows resting on her kneecaps as she gazed at the mirror-like structure. An unwarranted sigh left her lungs as the setting sun glared from behind her toward the memorial with an intensity that burned her eyes, but she didn't get up to leave.

Soft footsteps padded in the grass nearby, but she didn't turn to see who it was. Numerous people came and went as she sat there; they deserved the quiet to mourn as well, so she never said a word.

The person belonging to the footsteps stopped just before the memorial and placed a small bouquet of flowers tied up with a white ribbon at the base of the slab.

"I'm sorry, Sakura," the nin said with a sigh.

_Tenten. Ah, those flowers must be for Neji._

The pink-haired woman didn't respond, didn't move. This seemed to confuse the other girl.

"Have you not heard the news about Kakashi?" the nin tried again.

That definitely roused Sakura from her reverie.

"What news?" she replied, zeroing in on Tenten as if to hold her in place.

The girl hesitated.

"A mission came in today, one with a large sum if fulfilled, and he took it without reluctance. Many other nins who had been in the building at the time avoided eye contact with him as he received the scroll detailing what exactly he was to do."

A shuddering wave of cold washed through Sakura and her heart began to pound.

"It's an S-rank," Tenten finished.

"A suicide mission," Sakura voiced, detecting that Tenten was not going to say it.

"It appears that way," Tenten said in a concerned tone.

"Where is he now?" Sakura demanded as she stood and brushed off the seat of her shorts.

"The bar. Where else?"

"Thank you."

With a deep breath, Sakura was sprinting into town.

Minutes later she came upon the brightly lit building and entered after glancing both ways down the street in case Kakashi had just left. Instantly she spotted him at the main bar and claimed the empty seat beside him. When the bartender's eyes turned on her in question of what drink she'd have, she held up her hand, wordlessly expressing she wasn't going to have anything. Then she focused her attention on the masked man to her right.

"What are you doing?" she asked in a low voice just short of a growl.

He blinked his one exposed eye lazily at her and took another sip of the dark drink in front of him. Slowly he turned to face her, as if dreading it.

"Enjoying a drink, Sakura," he replied calmly.

"When do you leave for your mission?"

"Tomorrow morning," he said, betraying that he knew all along what she was talking about. This irked her, but she was angry with him for other more important things.

"And you weren't going to say goodbye before you left?" she pressed, knowing full well she was playing the guilt card. It didn't bother her; she'd do whatever she could to elicit some sort of emotional reaction from this stone-faced man.

"I won't be gone for long, Sakura. I'll be back soon."

"Bullshit," she said, but he had turned his head in the opposite direction. An acquaintance had come up to wish him luck on his mission and give him another drink, thus distracting him from Sakura's poorly executed interrogation. "You can't leave, Kakashi. I don't want you to do this. "

No reaction. He didn't even hear her.

_Can I say nothing to make you realize that I care for you?_

"I can't watch you do this to yourself," she prodded again, but no reply came. "Kakashi?"

"Hmm, yes, Sakura? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the music. It's rather loud in here tonight," he replied, still very distant. "Really I should get going. I have quite a bit to do in preparations for tomorrow. I'll see you later, all right?"

"But, Kakashi-"

"Yes, Sakura?"

"I…you can't go. I don't want you to," she muttered, suddenly flushing.

_Just say it, Sakura. Maybe that will stop him in his tracks. Maybe he'll admit it to you too and he'll give the scroll back._

He smiled, his lips moving under the mask, but his eye didn't crinkle the way it did when it was genuine. His gloved hand moved into her hair to ruffle it up like he had when she was a child.

"I'll be back, Sakura. Good night."

And with that, he was gone.

_Damn it,_ she thought. _If only I could have said it, then maybe…._

Putting her emotions away, she stalked out of the building and sucked in the dusky air. Her feelings burst forth past the barriers and she tried her hardest not to cry as she walked by other nins on their way to the bar.

_Please, _she begged the heavens, colored with deep reds and oranges as the sun faded away to black. _Please don't take another one away from me. Don't let him die. Don't let someone else I love die like the others did. Please._

She feared so much for his life that it kept her up the entire night. She couldn't help thinking of what he was doing right in that moment, whether he was blissfully asleep in bed or wide awake, contemplating his reasons for taking the mission in the first place.

Was it really like she had initially thought? Did he take the mission just to be killed in combat so he didn't have to dirty his hands with the work himself? He had too keen a sense of self-preservation to commit suicide willingly, but she couldn't help but believe that he could let himself be killed in battle, to die the death of a ninja without a single qualm.

The fact that he might have even considered suicide made her heart hurt far more than his taking the mission did. Had the war really left him so broken, so _wounded_ that he felt it wasn't worth it to continue on in this world if death was the only thing surrounding him? He was in more pain than he'd ever let on; instead of confessing his struggles he'd rather off himself and be done with it all.

_Kakashi…I won't let you go out of this world not knowing that someone loves you – that people care about you. You have to know._

By that time it was four in the morning. Quickly, she made her decision.

She wasn't going to let him walk out of the village without confessing her feelings for him in hopes that it would change his mind about the mission.

_About living._

Sakura donned her day clothes and strapped on her boots, determined to march right over to his house and wrestle him to the floor if she had to in order to make him listen. The sun wasn't due to come up for a little while yet, so she had to cross the village quietly and by streetlight.

She arrived at his front door in no time at all, sitting down on the small steps that led up to it. She couldn't muster up the courage to wake him then and there, as much of it had fled while she walked, so she decided to wait until he tripped over her coming out the door. Absently she began to wonder when he'd awaken for the day.

It wasn't until the door opened and he said her name that she realized she had fallen asleep. She shot straight to her feet and rubbed the blurriness from her eyes.

"Sakura? What are you doing here?" he asked smoothly, locking the door behind him. One look at his eye told her he had not slept a wink that night. He had a pack slung over his shoulder and his hip pouches were nearly bursting with weapons and supplies. He was traveling suspiciously light for someone going on such a highly ranked mission.

"You can't go on this mission, Kakashi," she said, clearing the gummy feeling from her throat.

"Why not?" he asked lightly.

"I just…I don't want you to go. I don't like it."

"Sakura, I'm free to do what I want."

"It's not like that," she sputtered. "You can do what you want, but you can't just…I won't…"

"Sakura?"

"I won't let you go on this mission just to get yourself killed!" she shouted finally.

He sighed. It was a reaction, albeit a very pitiful one, and it left Sakura reeling with his lack of concern.

_What can I say to make you feel this, Kakashi? What can I do to make you care, about yourself and about staying alive? About me?_

"There's nothing for me here anymore, Sakura," he replied in a low voice. It sounded defeated, like he had completely surrendered.

_No._

_What can I say, Kakashi? What will make you stay? What will make you realize my feelings for you?_

Sakura, stung by his words, couldn't help but think that he didn't feel she was worth sticking around for. Her hands began to shake as a bitter anger gripped her heart.

"You can't just leave," she repeated forcefully.

"Why, Sakura? Why can't I just leave?" he demanded, his words suddenly dipped in acid.

"_Because you'll get yourself killed and leave me all alone like Ino did_!" she spat in fury. Hot tears burned the corners of her eyes and the tremors rolling through her body increased, but she kept it all contained as well as she could.

For a breath-long moment, Sakura witnessed a flutter of surprise interrupt Kakashi's usual vacant expression. He was taken aback by her exclamation because she rarely spoke of her fallen best friend anymore, just like Kakashi never spoke of Genma. Just for a sweet second, Kakashi's eye flashed, vulnerable, and with a small look he told her he was sorry through his single dark iris. Then, like the tripped spring on a mousetrap, he boxed his emotions up again.

"I don't want you to leave," she murmured pitifully.

_Say it, damn it. SAY IT._

He placed his hands in his pockets, his pack shifting across his shoulder blades, and made to turn and walk away.

"It's too late, Sakura. You've already delayed me enough. I need to go."

Rain spattered her forehead and boots dismally.

"Kakashi! You can't just run away and hope this solves your problems! I know it hurts to miss all those people, our friends, but it's easier if you share your pain with someone!" she yelled, cutting straight at him through the chilly drizzle.

Without acknowledgement, he continued to walk away from her. The rain came down from the gray sky like bullets and she could almost feel them all piercing her heart.

_Is there nothing more for you to say, Sakura? _


	2. Iris

"**Iris" by **_**The Goo Goo Dolls**_

_****__**...**_

_Turn around, Kakashi._

Sakura was right. He didn't want to share his pain. He wanted to bleed just to know he was alive, to know death was close enough to kiss, and perhaps even embrace it just to get away from the fact that he _was_ living when all of those people, his friends, were not. Many important things had changed since he had fought side by side with Sakura in that damn bloody war, and it wasn't just the decrease in number of comrades.

_She is trying to tell you all the things you've been feeling. She doesn't just pity you, poor old man with nothing but death surrounding you. She isn't just reaching out to the closest person she can find; she wants you to _see _her, to realize that she wants – _needs _you to stick around._

_Turn back, Kakashi._

His pace slowed considerably, but he didn't stop. He was almost waiting for her to reenact what she had done with Sasuke – run up behind him, wrap her arms around his midsection and beg him tearily not to leave. But she was a big girl now – a woman – and she was not thinking like a child anymore.

_Turn around, damn it._

_And do what? _He questioned his heart with a snap. _Apologize? Kiss her? I hardly believe she'd give me the opportunity to do either at this point._

_You must be thick, Kakashi. She loves you – don't you see it? She's trying so hard to tell you and all you can do is walk away._

The man sighed, his shoulders rolling further forward. Staring at the ground in front of his feet, he could feel the chilly raindrops seeping into the dark cloth covering the back of his neck, sending unwelcome shivers down his spine.

_Just because I'm not acting on it doesn't mean I don't see it._

_Why _don't _you act on it?_

_No one would understand. A teacher and student in that kind of relationship? Everyone would surely believe I'm the pervert they think I am._

_Get your head out of your ass and stop trying to make excuses. She's a grown woman under the tutelage of the current Hokage – you have not been her teacher for years. You're ninja, for Kami's sake. You can't care about what other people think if you're happy, because we know that happiness can be ripped away just as soon as we've captured it._

Kakashi's jaw muscles burned against the intense desire to turn around and look at her, to see if she was still there, waiting for him. What if she had left? That would surely mean she had given up on convincing him, and that pink-haired spitfire never let got of something she was determined to finish.

He was reminded of her words, spoken just moments ago. Really, he wasn't exactly sure what propelled him to take a mission that meant almost certain death until he chewed on that cold hard fact. He didn't feel very alive at the moment anyway, so what difference would it make to stuff himself and truly die? Put an end to all his_ un_ending suffering? Pain and death were all he knew; he couldn't go back from all the damage he'd sustained throughout his lifetime.

_Stop thinking you're meant to be broken, Kakashi. The war hurt numerous nins in ways they can't just bandage up and nurse until they're better, and you're no different. But Sakura can help. Let her fix you, Kakashi. Let her mend you back into the man you used to be, the man who would never take a mission he thought he would probably not come back alive from. Don't lose this chance and miss her later for it while you're dying in a puddle of some stranger's blood, contemplating the cruel ways of the universe and cursing the stars for it. Don't regret this and let yourself die alone when you could have someone beside you._

_So turn. Around._

Kakashi inclined his face into the rain, letting the droplets smack the small patches of uncovered skin. His clothes were drenched and his feet squashed noisily in his shoes as he walked.

_No regrets, eh? _He thought with a small humming sound. _Fine. But if I find you are wrong, heart, then I will dig my fingers in and carve you out myself._

Finally he halted his steps and turned around. A flurry of pink and red flew at him and grappled onto him as they both fell to the sodden street.

Kakashi's one eye widened, partly because he had been so distracted with his inner argument that he hadn't sensed her coming, and partly because she had not only chased him down, but _tackled him to the ground_ in order to stop him from leaving.

There was absolutely no way that sort of dedication came from someone who wasn't in love. Well, except for Naruto, but he was a whole different breed of ninja.

Sakura was panting lightly as she held Kakashi's larger form down with her hands pressing into his shoulders and knees pinning his legs. Kakashi thought she was crying, but the rain made it hard to tell.

"I told myself on the way to your house this morning that I would tackle you to the ground if I had to, to make you stay," she told him with a certainty that pleased Kakashi in a strange way. She sucked in a wavering breath, betraying her inner doubt, and dropped her head so that he could only see her shadowed lips. Her hands lessened their pressure and began to shake against him. "I can't let you leave. I just can't, Kakashi, because I…. _I _—_"_

In seconds Kakashi's mask was down, he'd sat up, put a gentle hand on her cheek, and crushed his lips to hers, swallowing her words. Her fingers fisted the fabric of his shirt in surprise as she slid up his bent legs onto his lap and lay flush against him, angled up at her.

Kakashi broke away after a few moments when she didn't respond in kind, thinking perhaps he had loosened his vise like grasp on his emotions too soon.

She clenched her fists tighter and wrenched him back to her, winding her arms around his neck, one hand twining up into his dripping hair. Her face grew warm and Kakashi realized she was crying.

"You idiot," she breathed while thumping him on the chest with her fist. "You were going to leave and let me think you didn't feel the same. _Idiot._"

He grinned wryly, his newly bared face captivating her, and she witnessed something else she hadn't seen in a long time.

_His smile finally reached the deep black iris of his eye._

_And the fire that fueled it had begun in his heart. _


	3. Lost In Paradise

**Author's Notes: Finally here's chapter 3! Sorry for the lateness! **

**The song for this chapter is "Lost in Paradise" by Evanescence. **

**Enjoy!**

…**.**

"Promise me you'll give up this mission."

Sakura and Kakashi were lounging on his dark blue couch, her legs slung over his thighs as he leaned against the back of the sofa. She stared at his profile as she sipped tea from the mug cradled in her hands, etching the lines of his face into her memory. His finger absently traced a tickling circle around her anklebone.

"I never wanted it in the first place," he replied in a murmur, not looking at her even as she studied him.

Just a few hours previously, they had sat in the pouring rain for a while, simply looking at each other, feeling the veil tear between them and creating a doorway into one another in its stead. Finally he had picked her up and brought her back into his house, and they were blissfully lost in paradise together, but the cruelty of it always came back to jab Sakura right between the eyes.

_He still has that mission._

How long did she truly have to spend with this man? A few years? A couple hours?

"Kakashi," she said again, gently, and placed a warm hand on his shoulder.

He pulled her hand from his skin and curled his own calloused fingers through her dainty ones instead.

"I'll go tell Tsunade myself and hand back the scroll. Tonight. I'll tell her I had…second thoughts due to some very good reasons."

Sakura smiled and he returned it lazily as his eyes slid closed.

They sat together in comfortable silence as he traced and she sipped, the only sound intruding their private paradise being the rain tapping against the window as if requesting entrance.

"You know…I've never really done this before," Sakura confessed quietly, holding the mug up to hide half of her face.

"Done what?"

"Well…_this._"

Kakashi's eyes opened slowly and he turned to scrutinize her expression. Her cheeks flooded with red and she had a difficult time meeting his eyes.

"What? The normal lives of ninja don't leave much room for cultivating relationships, especially not when the war came up. So much time away, so much uncertainty whether you'd live to see the next day," she explained.

"I know," Kakashi replied. She heard a twinge of something sour in his tone, but instead of consoling him involuntarily, she resisted the urge and decided it would be wrong to show him sympathy when she didn't even know what it was about.

_Soon I'll know more about you than I ever wanted to. That sounds marvelous._

"It's been hard for me to keep a relationship long enough for it to go anywhere," Kakashi said. "Sakura…please be patient with me. I can't be the perfect man for you. I've experienced too much, lost too much…. My past still exists even though I sometimes wish it didn't. You need to know…it's hard for me to take anything very seriously anymore. But if you can try, if _we_ can really try…maybe we can make something out of this."

"You're the only one I want," she replied certainly, squeezing his hand, "and I will fight until my last breath just to keep you."

Kakashi smiled and gave a little chuckle. His laugh was something that surprised Sakura; she realized it was one of the many things she hadn't witnessed from her former sensei. The noise that came from his throat was deep and thick, mostly amused but also very tired at the same time.

"That's my Sakura. You never let go of what you believe in, do you?"

She shook her head vigorously.

"Now that I believe in you, you'd better understand just how hard I'm holding on."

She leaned forward and kissed his uncovered cheek. He hummed in delight.

An abrupt knock sounded on his front door, dismantling the enjoyable atmosphere they had created together. The two exchanged a look. It was obvious from Kakashi's rumpled expression that he didn't usually get visitors.

He stood up, pulled his mask on, and held a hand out behind him, indicating that she stay in the background out of sight. He approached the door and opened it carefully.

"Hatake Kakashi," the voice said stonily. "The Hokage demands your presence in her office immediately."

Kakashi nodded.

"Which means get your ass up there, now."

"Are those her words?"

"Quoted."

"I understand."

He shut the door with his palm.

"Tsunade's not happy with you for being tardy for your mission, is she?" Sakura asked as she put her hair up into a bun.

"No. Not at all."

Kakashi wandered into his bedroom and shrugged on a vest before righting his hitae-ai and mask.

"I'll be back," he said upon emerging into the small living room. He zipped up his vest and leaned down over Sakura still on the couch. She pushed herself up against the pillows to meet him halfway, holding a hand to his face as he pressed a gentle kiss on her mouth.

"I'll make us some food."

"Just don't burn anything," he teased while slipping on his shoes.

She stuck her tongue out at him and he gave her a smile.

The door latched closed softly behind him, leaving Sakura alone with only her thoughts and the familiar smell of him around the apartment.

…

Tsunade glowered at the rigid one-eyed nin over her steepled hands.

"I know you are one to be late, Kakashi, but this is ludicrous."

He remained like a statue under her pressuring gaze.

"I know you understand the importance of being on time for a mission such as this. You were to meet your client hours ago. Someone with this much money is not going to appreciate being stood up," she scolded further. "This doesn't just make you look bad, Kakashi, this is a bad mark on Konoha. Do you have anything to say?"

"I wish to return the scroll and politely decline the mission," he said.

If she had been less composed, her mouth would have dropped open.

"You've never declined a mission after you've taken it."

"Correct. But I wish to do so now for personal reasons."

She eyed him suspiciously and pushed herself up from her chair, her heels clacking on the polished tile floor as she approached him.

"This isn't just any normal mission, Kakashi," she said in a warning tone.

"I understand, lady Tsunade."

"I'm not so sure you do."

She reached behind her and grabbed the scroll from her desk. He had handed it back to her upon entering the room.

"You must not have read through the entire thing," she commented without surprise. He always skimmed, never read, but he was always clear on what was to be done. That was one of his amazing and equally frustrating qualities. "You see, once this particular mission is taken, we can't accept a resignation from it. You are still obligated to carry it out. You are to leave at three this coming morning. And by Kami, you better not be late."

…

Kakashi returned to his apartment with his shoulders slumped forward more than usual. Sakura picked up on this immediately; there was no way he left Tsunade's office free of the mission feeling like that.

She had rushed over to him wordlessly and looked up into his one eye. He wrapped his arms around her waist and brought his forehead to hers. They stood like that for a while before either of them spoke.

"Kakashi…."

"I'm leaving at three."

Suddenly, she was falling, out of his arms and into the blackened abyss of her desires, now turned to cruel fantasies.

"You promised me," she said, clamping her eyes closed, feeling herself completely doused in the emotions that had roiled through her upon watching his retreating back hours earlier.

_No, Kakashi, you can't…you _can't.

"I know. I'm bound to this mission. I'm unable to decline it now. I have to go, Sakura."

She ground her teeth together and tried futilely to prevent her hands from shaking with rage and fear.

"Don't worry," he murmured, enclosing her hands with his, "Now that I've got something to come back to, I'll come back to you."

She opened her eyes and saw his smile, but it sent a pang of desperate longing through her. It was as empty as it had been before and it fell so achingly short of his eye. Her eyes trained on his with a burning intensity.

"Don't you dare come back dead."

A touch of fear colored his dark iris for a breath before he erased it from view, continuing to hold that smile that was supposed to be reassuring. She wasn't quite sure if it was meant for her or for him.

_You're afraid, Kakashi._

_And I'm just as scared as you._


	4. Born To Be My Baby

"**Born to Be My Baby" by Bon Jovi**

…

Kakashi gazed down at Sakura again and a slight shiver crept through him at the unspoken question held precariously in her eyes.

_Will you make love to me tonight, Kakashi?_

He couldn't deny that though his intentions to be with her were mostly good, he _had_ thought of her in that way. What could she expect from someone who sat around reading _Icha Icha_ all the time?

Unlike most of his failed relationships, he had wanted to start on a less sexual note with Sakura, because he was certain the physical aspect was part of the reason that drove him and his previous lovers apart. Once it had become a usual thing, he wanted it more, they got tired of him and simply left. That was how most of them had ended, and by Kami, there was no way he would let this one end the same.

Still, she _was_ a very attractive woman, grown out of her childish face and figure long ago, and had become a curvy kunoichi who was pleasing to the eye. All the men of Konoha seemed to know this, but she herself did not. This constantly puzzled Kakashi, as it didn't seem right for her to look so alluring and not properly see it herself.

_She needs you to _show_ her how beautiful she is._

_And besides, _he added with a cringe, _there is a possibility that this might be the last night you see her and get this chance._

In answer to her wordless question, he picked her up in his arms and made his way into the bedroom. Her eyes lit up with a beautiful sort of pain-filled joy, and it nearly broke his already wounded heart.

Gently he set her down on the edge of the bed and leaned over her, his hands balanced on the comforter on either side of her.

With careful, hesitant hands, as if she couldn't believe this was actually happening, she pulled off his hitae-ai and let it drop to the floor, moving to his mask next. He opened his _sharingan _and began to absorb every detail about the next few hours of his life. It was painful, almost, how much he desired to remember this time with her. He pushed thoughts of three A.M. from his mind and got lost in the sweet moment.

Her fingers ghosted over his cheeks, caressing the lines and angles of his face, not doubt committing them to memory. Kakashi was never the sentimental, deeply romantic type, but somehow, for some reason, with Sakura he desperately wanted to be, _needed _to be. It was an odd feeling, but he began to warm to the idea.

Her fingers played at the edge of his shirt and he helped her peel it over his head. She grabbed each of his hands to draw off the gloves, one by one kissing his fingertips as she did so. Her face and skin were so radiant in the moonlight; she looked like an angel sent down just for him.

Her hesitation completely gone, she removed the rest of his clothes and drank in the sight of him in wonder.

He gripped her wrists to stop her hands suddenly and he could see in her eyes questioning whether he was having second thoughts.

Instead, he untied her headband from behind her neck and dropped it to the floor, cupping her face with his large, rough hands before moving down her arms. He drew off all the fabric and began to unzip her red top, intently watching her face as he did.

She was smiling up at him, dreamily, and when his fingers hit the newly bared skin, she gave a soft gasp and it sent another shiver rushing through him.

His pace gradually increased even as he tried to restrain himself, but all her little noises were making him crazy. Soon the rest of her clothes were in a pile on the carpet by the bed, revealing her fully to him. He pressed her down into the mattress with his body and shoved them further up it until their legs didn't dangle off the end.

So close together, with her burning skin on his, he sucked in a shuddering breath. Truthfully, it had been a while since he had brought another woman to bed, but there was something about Sakura that made his senses powerfully acute. She seemed to feel it, too; her hands shook as they roamed on his back and pushed him down against her.

He could feel her heart beating rapidly, like a drum about to come unwound, and her breath was hot on his neck.

They locked gazes for just a moment before he devoured her lips with his. Her fingers flew to his unruly hair and gripped as if holding on and a moan came from the back of her throat. She seized his lower lip in her teeth when he meant to pull away and sucked on it.

Kakashi, equally surprised and aroused by the action, drove his hips down hard on hers and kissed her neck, lighting a fire in her veins she couldn't hope to ever put out.

_This is something no one can take away, _he thought, _our love and our lives. It's ours. All ours._

"I love you, Kakashi. I love you," Sakura whispered with a quavering voice as his fingers caressed the sensitive skin of her stomach.

_She believes in me, _he recalled from their earlier conversation. _Because we've got something to believe _in.

"Sakura…" he began, preparing himself. Her fingers twitched against him. "I love you…too."

With one thrusting motion, he claimed her as his.

…

They spent the remainder of the night together in the most intimate way, forgetting about the next morning and simply enjoying the time they had left, trying not to feel like this was the last time they would be able to enjoy each other's warmth and company.

Sakura had cried in his arms when they finished, not because she was in pain, but because Kakashi had shown her a side of himself that he imagined she never fathomed he had; something tender and beautiful and vulnerable. He rarely ever showed that side because he never had the proper opportunity to, but she had given it to him.

The closer it got to three A.M., the more he wondered whether he should have expressed that side of him or not. To have experienced that and then have to fearfully let it go…was that a gift of joy and pleasure or torture and ruin?

Regardless, it had happened, and really Kakashi was glad it had. It was better for her to remember that of him and dream of it in case he wasn't able to make it back alive.

He had told her not to worry, that he would see her again, but a creeping doubt was making its home in the back of his head and he wasn't so certain anymore. It was an extremely risky mission, but he was also an elite, well-trained shinobi with a lifetime of risks under his kunai belt. As long as he didn't grow careless, he should be fine.

Right?

"I think we were made for each other," Sakura murmured against his chest, warming the spot with her breath.

"Mmm?"

She nuzzled her nose against his skin and it sent a wave of pleasure through him. She drew the tangled sheet closer about her shoulders and sighed, sleep heavy in her tone.

"I've never felt the way that I did tonight with anyone else."

"I thought you've never been in a relationship before."

Sakura glared up at him, but due to her sleep drunkenness, it reminded him of a kitty attempting to play with a full-grown cat.

"You and I both know you don't have to be in a relationship to have sex."

"True. Perhaps I'm simply very good at sex."

Surprisingly, she bit his nipple in response. A jolt rang through him.

"I'm trying to be romantic," Sakura said with mock anger.

"Well, you should never start something you can't finish," he replied.

She sighed again and tried to curl up closer to him, although he doubted that was possible.

"I'm trying to tell you that you're special to me, Kakashi," she went on.

"I know," he said gently, rubbing a hand up and down her back.

The next hour was probably one of the most difficult hours of his entire life. He had to extract himself from the torturously comfortable position beside Sakura and pack his things for the mission. It was fairly simple, as he had already packed some supplies for it earlier that past day, but he made sure to take as much as he could with him, just to be safe. If it eased Sakura's mind, he felt better as well.

She sat on the edge of the bed with the sheet loosely draped around her small frame, her eyes watching him go to and fro about the bedroom, tossing clothes, weapons, camping supplies, and other miscellaneous items into his packs.

Finally, when he was all done with preparations, he came back over to her and stood her up just to wrap her in his arms. She held on tightly, holding him close, and clutched at the back of his vest.

"Come back to me," she murmured for the final time.

"I will. You can stay here while I'm away, if you would like."

Sakura nodded against his chest.

"I love you," she said in a voice bordering on tears.

He kissed her softly as his reply.

Attaching all his hip packs and weapons, he kissed her again before making his way to the door. It latched quietly behind him and he was gone.


	5. I'd Do Anything For Love

"**I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" by Meatloaf.**

**Enjoy the Kakashi-feels. Hopefully I got him right.**

**Oh Kakashi, why you so difficult to write when I'm trying to be in your head?!**

…

When the war finally ended and all the injured shinobi were carted back to their respective villages, Sakura was so nervous she had bitten her nails right down to the quick. She'd been called back to the Konoha hospital just before the fighting stopped in preparation for the onslaught of the wounded and maimed.

But having left the battlefield, she had no way of knowing who would come back alive and who would be rolled in dead. There were a few specific names on the list of the living that she prayed would come back that way.

Not all of them arrived at her station as ordered.

First Naruto had been rushed in, alive, but nearly damaged beyond recognition. He didn't know who she was even as she tended to his worst injuries before passing him onto another medic-nin. Next came Sasuke, beat but not broken, and Sakura had mixed feelings about his condition. She had been surprised to see him show up and assist them in the greatest war the shinobi as a whole have ever known, certainly, but he had been gone so long she had pretty much already placed a tag on his toe, labeling him dead. He still might as well have been, as he was pushed by on the gurney, for all the looks he gave her.

Ino would have snickered at her.

After all this time and all Sakura's improvement, he still didn't even recognize her existence.

Ino had come in after that, pale as the sheet she was lying on, and Sakura nearly lost it in the hallway. Shizune had to kindly tell Sakura to suck it up, that she had to focus all her energies on saving the live ones so that they didn't end up like Ino. That was her mission and that was what she had been expected to fulfill.

Still, the fact that her best friend hadn't returned alive was a hard blow to walk off.

Next Kakashi had arrived, looking so close to death Sakura assumed the worst and began sobbing uncontrollably, all the pent up emotions from the battle and post-battle bursting out unglamorously. She had thrown her arms over Kakashi, placing all her weight on his chest. When he groaned feebly, anyone in that hallway would have thought she'd just gotten the news that she had won the lottery.

Tsunade, in the whirlwind of frantic activity and hallway backed up with moaning shinobi, had given her charge of Kakashi. Sakura had responded with a solid _hai!_ and promptly ran Kakashi into the next open room she could find.

He had sustained a severe injury to his chest as if someone had rammed a telephone pole through him, skewering him like a shrimp on a kebob. It was gushing wildly; the bandages a medic in the field had strapped around him with were not holding and barely did any good against the torrent of scarlet.

"Kakashi," she told him firmly, "you are not allowed to die on me, understand?"

With the hand not trying to stem the bleeding, he had grasped her wrist in a weak hold, only to let her know he had heard.

_My life is yours. You choose whether I survive or don't._

Even though he had several other injuries, which was just like Kakashi to do, she focused on the worst one, putting all her energies toward it like her own life depended on his survival.

And at that point in her timeline, she could make neither heads nor tails of her feelings for her previous sensei. They were somewhat in the balance, lodged somewhere between platonic and something more, something exciting and forbidden. There was no way for her to tell how he felt about it, because of course he never showed any emotion, even when he was losing blood faster than was humanly possible. It had been a hopeless notion that she would ever be able to pursue anything more than she already had with him.

The point, then and there, was that if she didn't concentrate entirely on saving his life, he wouldn't be around to even _consider_ a future relationship with.

She worked for several hours straight, mending and stemming, fixing and rearranging, until his chest looked more like a chest and less like an exploded dam of flesh and blood. Activity out in the hallways had died down considerably as most of the patients became stable and in less critical condition. Other medic-nins were staggering past the doors, trying to keep a check on everyone while staying awake. Most of them were unable to accomplish this and ended up asleep on the tiled floors against the wall.

Sakura wouldn't stop until she was certain Kakashi would be completely all right and had minimal scars marring his skin. Her hands shook and ached, as did her back, legs, and feet, but once she was satisfied with her work, she collapsed into the chair beside his bed, her hand near his and head resting on the uncomfortable mattress. She had immediately fallen into an exhausted, but worriless, slumber.

What she didn't remember, but Kakashi did very acutely, was that he placed his rough hand over hers and squeezed in thanks, but also something more. He had known she was asleep and so thought it harmless to let some of his true emotions show, even if in the slightest detail.

He had appreciated her presence that night more than he would ever admit to a single soul, even though she hadn't been fully conscious. It was always so dreadfully lonesome to sleep in a hospital bed, he thought, surrounded by so many rooms full of people, and yet so isolated, and oftentimes accompanied only by the steady rhythm of the monitors and machines.

He hadn't been entirely sure what he was doing holding her hand like that, even if she didn't have the slightest clue, but it had felt right and he had allowed himself to give in during his weak state of mind, body, and soul.

That was the last time for a while he ever expressed anything more than shallow interest in her. Even the following morning when she stirred and he removed his hand, he had only told her thanks and that he had not doubted his trust in her for a second. She'd had other duties to attend to and thus they were separated.

He told himself he would forget about the whole thing, chocking it up to his less than functional mental state through the entire ordeal. But it was not that simple.

They would see each other around the village, grab a drink together once in a while, but there was never any exchange between them that indicated anything more than a usual student-teacher relationship.

Kakashi had been certain that she was interested far longer than she had known, though.

He knew the signs; he'd seen them in his own life. He knew she was not buddying up with him simply because he was a lonely old man in need of a friend or to make him feel better about himself. They had both lost a lot in the war and he knew she had other friends to go to. There was also something in the way she looked at him when she didn't think he could see her that told him she was falling for him.

He was not wholly innocent either, though, and couldn't help but stand a little closer to her, seem eager to hang around the same place she was. His brain was constantly high on Sakura – even at night when he would fall asleep, he could never stop dreaming about her. He kept waiting for it to pass, for the strange, abnormal feelings to blow over, but they never did.

Gradually he saw less and less of her in the streets and caught wind that she was spending a lot of her free time out by the memorial, just like he was accustomed to doing. She'd never said, but he knew she was missing her best friend more and more with each passing day. Kakashi felt it tug at his heart, too. He had lost much in his life; really he should have been used to it by then, but the deaths of so many of his comrades, the men and women he had grown up and fought with, weighed heavy on his mind, especially Genma. No one could replace that senbon-spitting shinobi.

During the time that the pinkette had begun to disappear more often, a dark depression started to perch on Kakashi's shoulders, growing heavier and heavier every morning and evening he spent alone. It became near unbearable until the opportunity to get rid of it presented itself to him.

The suicide mission.

It had been a legitimate prospect in his head at the time, but as soon as he saw Sakura walk through the door of the bar, the idea shattered into a million tiny shards and cut at the strings of his heart. Suddenly, he remembered her telling him he wasn't allowed to die, and he understood _why_. Suddenly, he was reminded of their intertwined hands on the hospital bed and how whole it had made him _feel_.

He went on with the thought of the mission, though, unable to let her in on his pain. But when she began to protest his leaving, he doubted what his motive really was anymore.

Still, he was a stubborn shinobi and he wouldn't let a girl between him and his service to the village. Or, at least, that's what he tried to convince himself he was doing.

But then he had stumbled over her, waiting for him on his doorstep, asleep. It had been one thing to confront him in the bar, but to go to his house and wait outside until he came out? He had to give her credit – that took extreme dedication and courage that he didn't see in some shinobi he had grown up with.

And that was when he began to sober up.

It wouldn't be fair to take the mission and have Sakura lose almost everything she had ever cared about. And really, it wouldn't be fair to him, either, because he felt the same way about her, didn't he?

He had to admit it to himself sooner or later. The truth couldn't be buried forever.

Even still, the stubborn part of him propelled him on, and he had started to walk away from her and right into death's arms.

When she had tackled him, it was all over. There was not a doubt in his mind that she cared for him, and cared for him enough to be persistent to the point of ridiculousness until he saw the truth and unearthed it for himself. She had finally shown him what was worth living for.

…

Kakashi remembered all this with a certain fondness as he approached Konoha's gates. It was almost comical how much he tried to lie to himself in order to refrain from falling for someone, but Sakura's perseverance had won him over and there was no going back.

People oftentimes said love propelled you to do crazy things, even to the point of death. Kakashi thought he would do just about anything for the one he loved (if he could ever get a clear grasp on the true meaning of the word), but he wouldn't go so far as death. Sakura had told him not to come back dead. He would never be able to forgive himself, and neither would she, if he returned in a body bag.

He wouldn't come back dead.

He wouldn't do that.


	6. Think Of You

"**Think Of You" by A Fine Frenzy**

…

Later the same day Kakashi embarked on his mission, Sakura found herself back at the cold memorial under the glaring sun. Instead of sitting to stare at it, though, she leaned back against it and let her eyes wander about in the endless, cloudy blue sky.

She had spent the remainder of the lonely morning burrowed under the covers of Kakashi's bed, waking from several dreams where he had come back home under the delayed instruction of Tsunade. Every single time she thought she had heard the deadbolt click and slide, announcing his immediate return to her. But it was never true.

Naruto had heard tell of Kakashi's mission and, like the dutiful teammate that he was, joined her at the memorial. She hadn't the need to ask him how he found her – it was common knowledge throughout the village these days.

He didn't say much and didn't stay long for which she was somewhat grateful; Hinata required his presence back at their apartment, putting things up on high shelves, or some business of the like. In the brief moment he accompanied Sakura, she allowed herself the modest comfort of placing her head on his shoulder. After the Great Shinobi War, they had worked through whatever feelings they had for each other (him more than her) and resolved them almost immediately. Sakura loved Naruto, but in a comrade and brotherly sort of way. She could never be romantic with him even if she put all her chakra into it.

Naruto had been hurt, of course, as he had always harbored some sort of attraction to Sakura, but since it wasn't reciprocated like he hoped it might be, he was able to finally see other attractions more clearly. Sakura had rolled her eyes once he realized Hinata liked him in that way.

Ever since that realization, Naruto and Hinata had been going pretty steady. It took the Hyuuga a long while to come out of her shell rid herself of the absurd timidity, but now that she had, things were great between the two of them.

Alone again at the memorial, Sakura sighed and picked at the grass beside her thigh. She pressed her nose into the collar of her shirt and breathed in deeply, savoring the beautiful harmony of flavors and smells there. She had practically marinated in the scent of Kakashi in his apartment and now the smell lingered in her clothes. It was as soothing as it was a stinging reminder, but she enjoyed the pleasure for the price of the pain.

It was impossible not to think of the copy-nin, no matter where she was or what she was doing. Even before they had come to their mutual realization, she had often thought of him while he wasn't around. Now it was only different in the way she thought about him and what she wondered.

She imaged him perched in a tree, reposing on a branch with his back to the bark and looking out through the forest, resting his weary bones. He wasn't in mission territory yet, she guessed, and so could allow himself the luxury of letting his mind wander. She could only hope he was thinking of her, too. The image pulled her, far from her own resting place, like a fishing reel with the hook dug deep into her heart.

When night began to fall, she decided to drift back to Kakashi's apartment, hoping that would soften the dull ache in her chest. She wrapped herself in on one of his shirts and fell back into bed, creating a sanctuary of sorts. This didn't alleviate her pain; instead it worsened until she couldn't bear it and cried into the pillow he had rested on not days ago, smelling of sandalwood and the husky, dark scent that was Kakashi.

The reel still tugged her to where he was even though she was steeped in his belongings, and she realized that his home would never be enough for her because _he_ was her home now. No building or paraphernalia could ever satisfy her the way his presence did.

She surprised herself with these intense feelings. They had only reconciled with one another a day ago – it shouldn't be right for her to feel the way she did. Although, she reminded herself, her heart had been marinating in these emotions far longer than one day, and now that they could be freely expressed, it was explosive – that much she could not deny.

_It's a bad night to be alone, _she thought with anguish, _but that's the way it is._

As she fell into restless sleep, she prayed to Kami – or anything that would hear her – that they would bring Kakashi back to her instead of punishing her for the one thing she truly wanted.

Her dreams consisted of memories of Kakashi, even before they were together, and they made her equal parts delighted and bitter.

She awoke the next morning with hellfire in her irises. Clenching her teeth, she resolved to visit Tsunade-sama and have a little chat with the Hokage concerning the details of Kakashi's mission. Throwing on her usual clothes, which were strewn haphazardly across the floor and bed, she stomped off to Tsunade's office. Being her apprentice, she was able to see the Hokage without much trouble or delay.

As the door closed, Sakura turned determined eyes on her teacher. Tsunade's expression remained neutral.

She had been expecting the pink-haired girl.


	7. It's A Kind of Magic

"**It's A Kind of Magic" by Queen.**

**Is Sakura already too late?**

…

Tsunade leaned back in her chair and spun to gaze out the window overlooking her village. Her mind was not on what she was seeing, though, even as the sun shone on the rock faces and the swarms of people in the streets. It floated back to the conversation with her apprentice that previous day.

The girl had swept into her office with a purpose and Tsunade had already known a good portion of what Sakura would say. It was obvious to her now why Kakashi really hadn't wanted to leave.

_It's a kind of magic that draws unlikely people together._

Tsunade sighed and smiled while shaking her head. She never regretted taking Sakura on as her apprentice, although now she was technically no longer an apprentice, but someone who could rival Tsunade's own skills and mastery. Sakura had been taught well, no doubt, and her teachings had come in very useful during the events of the War. Many people, including the Hokage herself, had been saved due to Sakura's abilities. She was a headstrong soul, determined and resolute in the things worthwhile to her.

Kakashi was no different.

Sakura had instantly begun telling Tsunade that she was going after the copy-nin regardless of the repercussions of such an action. Tsunade was not surprised by this, as Sakura thought she might be, and instead of refusing that she leave the village, she asked why. When the pinkette didn't answer immediately, Tsunade began with an explanation of her own.

"Sakura," she'd said softly, her hands clasped in front of her on the desk between them. "The people in this village talk. Things get around and get back to me. Numerous nins have observed your behavior the past few days, including your confrontation with Kakashi in the bar as well as the fact that you continue disappearing into Kakashi's house and coming and going as if you lived there – this has proved to be very interesting, but no one in this village is stupid enough to believe you are taking care of his cat while he is gone, Sakura."

"What are you saying?"

"You know exactly what I'm saying. Whatever relationship you might have that you're trying to keep secret isn't working. Everyone knows you've been fooling around with him."

Sakura slammed her fist on the desk, scattering a few pens.

"We have not been fooling around."

A slow smile spread across Tsunade's face. Sakura had taken the bait.

"Then why do you want to go after him, Sakura?"

The girl's head fell and she breathed deeply for a moment before lifting her eyes back to Tsunade's searching ones.

"I love him."

Although Tsunade had been expecting this, it still hit her hard. She could see that it was not some childish crush that Sakura had on her previous sensei. Tsunade remembered feeling the way Sakura looked when she had fallen in love with Dan all those years ago. What really clenched her heart about Sakura's quagmire was the tenacious look in her eyes, and in them Tsunade saw a glimpse, a little golden glance of what should be. If Kakashi shared Sakura's feelings, they deserved as much happiness as shinobi could have.

"I cannot wait for him to get back, in one piece or not. It seems like an eternity already," Sakura said. "I know you keep copies of mission scrolls in your records. I worked for you for so long, Hokage-sama, this should come as no surprise to you."

"It was only meant to be a one-man mission," Tsunade said.

"And it will still be – plus one woman."

Wordlessly Tsunade drew out the office-copy scroll of Kakashi's mission and held it over the desk. When Sakura took hold of it, Tsunade didn't relinquish her grasp.

"You understand what this means?"

"I do."

"And you are willing to risk everything?"

"I am."

Tsunade inhaled deeply. She uncurled her fingers from the parchment.

"Then go, and go with my blessing. I pray Kami brings you both back safe."

"Me too."

Sakura stood and bowed.

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

_That flame, the will of fire burns brightly inside of her._

A soft knock sounded at her door, breaking her from the memory. It seemed the pink-haired girl had just come to see her, when in reality it had already been a full day.

_She has probably almost caught Kakashi by now._

"What is it, Kotetsu?" Tsunade called as her black-haired assistant entered with a courteous bow.

"Hokage-sama," he greeted. "I have a guest who requires your immediate attention."

Tsunade stood and fanned her fingers out on the desktop. Kotetsu moved out of the doorway to allow the guest in.

A small brown dog strode past him with a scroll in his maw.

_Pakkun._

Her heart dropped, but she didn't let it show on her face. Instead she remained as rigid and composed as ever.

"Hello, Pakkun. What brings you here?"

_I swear, if he has already failed and turned up dead, my rage will last a thousand years._

The dog hopped up onto her desk and set the scroll down neatly in front of her.

"Will I like the contents of this scroll?"

Pakkun used his back leg to scratch behind his headband before answering her.

"Probably not," he replied gruffly. Nothing in his furry face gave the scroll's news away.

She sighed and set herself back in her chair, breaking the seal with a long red fingernail. It was a small scroll and it unfurled easily in her hands. Quickly, she began to read.


	8. Hold

**Our copy-nin is alive, at least – so what was in that damn scroll?!**

"**Hold" by Superchic[k]. This is possibly the penultimate chapter. Stay tuned.**

…

Kakashi perched on a branch high up in his choice tree, replenishing his strength with sustenance in the form of rice balls. It was three days since he had left Sakura back at Konoha and while he had been able to focus almost all of his energies to his mission, a few of his thoughts strayed back to her.

The entire first day had consisted of travel. Being alone, he was able to cross the country quickly and rest little in order to get to the mission, get it over with, and get home as swiftly as possible. He had arrived to the mission point in the evening and found the very tree he was sitting in as a good surveillance spot outside of the targeted house.

During the second day Kakashi scoped things out from the shadows darting around and sizing things up. His main operative was to assassinate a high profile thug who was terrorizing a well-supplied town; that would be no problem. It was the fact that his cronies were very skilled and far from brainless, which was the opposite of what most people would expect. This thug had obviously picked his crew members with care and deliberation, much to Kakashi's immediate dissatisfaction.

He quickly realized the reason why it was such a high-dollar mission.

As soon as Kakashi took his opportunity to strike and drop the head thug, the loyal followers would undoubtedly hunt the copy-nin down and kill him, if given even the slightest chance. Kakashi gauged that if he played things out near to perfection, he would be able to get away with only minor injuries and a completed contract, but the circumstances could easily go awry and leave him in a bad, bad situation.

Thus all his forethought and caution.

The third day consisted of preparations, precision being the key to it all, and he continued to go over the plan in his head, spinning it about and scrutinizing it from this way and that. He was going to set the plot in motion in the early morning of the next day, certain he would catch the majority of the cronies asleep, and those on guard only half-awake and altogether unawares. The main thug would be wrapped up in his silk sheets and lush blanket, hopefully unsuspecting until the last minute when Kakashi was standing over him, slicing his throat to paint the floor crimson.

The plan was simple, really; it was getting past the guards and making sure they didn't sound the alarm until he was well away that was the true hitch. A large, lengthy uninviting gate stretched around the property and there were men always posted at the entrance along with one who patrolled the perimeter after dark. There were more guards at the front door of the house and no doubt more inside, although whether the inner cronies were officially on duty or not was a fuzzy factor in Kakashi's head. The house was sealed up tightly with limited view to the inside due to the fact that the property was ringed with tall trees that would allow a perfect vantage point. There was one little thing that made the house not so airtight, however; after the head thug's nightly routine in the bathroom, he would neglect to shut the window after letting the steam escape from the shower and other bathroomly preoccupations. The screen would be easy to remove and allow Kakashi the entrance he was looking for.

The light of dawn began to break, beckoning the silver-haired man out of his thoughts. He sighed and let his head fall back against the tree, his uncovered eye lighting up in the new sun of the day as it rose over the distant mountains and shot through the trees toward him in golden bolts. His mind was quiet, as certain as he could be able the mission, save for his wandering thoughts of Sakura.

As much as he was relieved to know she was at home and safe from outside danger, he so wished for her to be at his side so they could tell each other it was going to be okay, everything would turn out all right. He was content to take on this mission alone, but he would also be grateful for her help to fight this fight and claim the victory together. They had been on missions before and fought side-by-side, but this time it would be different. They would be fighting not just as comrades, but as protectors and avengers.

All his life he had been helplessly abandoned, and had perforce become accustomed to that fact of his life, but right now, in this, he didn't want to be alone.

Sakura certainly had changed some things in him while he wasn't looking.

He popped another rice ball into his mouth, swallowed, replaced his mask, and quickly began to move. It was time to strike.

As silently as falling leaves and with the swiftness of an eagle, Kakashi melted into the shadows and darted toward the back of the house, dodging patrolling eyes as he went. They were keen, but Kakashi's senses were keener. With his hitae-ai shoved away from the sharingan, he had an advantage over them all.

Once at the back end of the house, he reached up and removed the screen with care. Springing up to the window, he grabbed the top and swung through the opening to land on the hard floor without so much as the soft _tack_ of his shoes. Holding a waiting hand on the kunai tucked into his thigh wrapping, he crouched and walked into the bedroom.

Scanning the air and approaching the bed, Kakashi felt that something was slightly amiss about it, but couldn't place it. Unheeding this, and partially thinking it was just the newfound worry about his survival and well being, he continued on and located his target, blissfully asleep under the covers.

Before his eyes had even fluttered at the disturbing presence of an intruder, Kakashi held the blade of a kunai to his throat and slashed. The blood gurgled and flooded from the gaping gash and the man choked for a few seconds before lying completely still. Blood soaked the sheets and began to drop onto the floor, pooling by the nightstand.

It was then that Kakashi realized what was strange.

Another small figure – that of a female – stirred in the bed and sat up. Kakashi saw her eyes widen in the dark before an awful scream came from her mouth, alerting the entire household and beyond that there was trouble.

Kakashi cursed and bolted for the bathroom door. He felt a fool for not thinking to scan the room for another presence, although he should have sensed her from the start – that wasn't something he often overlooked and was a natural instinct by now. He had simply been bent on killing the main target to the point of forgetting almost everything else aside from his plan.

Just as he had nearly reached the bathroom, another body flew before him to block his escape. He cursed again and laid into the guard with a chakra-infused shoulder, driving it deep into his gut and sending him flying back into the shower door with a crash. The man spat an obscenity and forced Kakashi to sprint through the house in search of another exit. The man would never let him pass and get through the bathroom window, so Kakashi pressed on, knowing he would encounter several more like him.

Many of the guards thumped through the foyer and fanned into the house, shouting orders and sealing off exits from the intruder. Several were flustered by the fact that anyone had gotten past their patrols and into the house.

Kakashi flung a handful of kunai at a few throats and heard most of them connect. Running through the kitchen, he created a few clones of himself to keep a couple enemies occupied. Flying into the entryway, hoping and praying without words that the front door would somehow be unsecured, he came to a dead halt.

Guards surrounded him in tiers, weapons out and ready.

His face remained straight and calm as he prepared for the first one to strike, but inside his mind he was cursing everything that breathed; this was exactly how the mission could go wrong, and in the worst possible way. He wished for a team of reinforcements to come flood the building so he could be done with the blasted mission once and for all.

Several cronies lunged for him at once just as he lit up his _chidori _and sliced his hand along a slew of attackers. Some were able to dodge the piercing lightning at the last second, adding heaps to Kakashi's landfill of frustration. These were skilled nins, not just hired hands, he had to remind himself; thus they would be that much harder to kill.

He sent out another wave of clones into the battle cries and began to pick a few of the occupied ninja off one by one until it became a more manageable crowd. Several of his adversaries had been able to land successful attacks and although each one by itself was a fairly minor wound, they began to compound and increase his climbing weariness. He hadn't fought this many skilled men all at once since the war ended and he had barely come home alive from that. The thought did not propel him toward hope.

Rapidly he realized they were whittling him down to nothing, piece by piece, until they could subdue him, and he couldn't give them that chance. Gripping lightning in his palm once again, he shot forward like a loosed arrow, intent on punching a hole through the men instead of dealing much damage. He couldn't stick around to finish them all off; instead, he had to make a break for it and hope that he could outrun most of them.

His impromptu plan worked and he shot through the front door with a splintering crash, ducking and rolling toward the ground before springing back to his feet and launching his body forward.

He had just barely gotten to the gate when a determined cry rent the morning air and a fireball jutsu came trailing after him. He hurdled over the gate and out of the fire's way – right into the arms of the man he had thrust back into the bathroom moments ago.

The hulking figure took no time dealing his revenge-filled blow, taking Kakashi by surprise. He had come out of nowhere, appearing only a second before his attack. His meaty fist struck Kakashi in the back at an angle, slamming his body down into the earth. Seeing stars, Kakashi shot up to his feet and swung underneath the next careening fist coming at him to stab the tip of a kunai under the man's kneecap.

He howled out his reply but seemed otherwise uninjured, even as he tore the weapon from his knee, and came at Kakashi without so much as a limp.

Kakashi loosed a bursting fire jutsu from his mouth, attempting to save a large part of his strength for the mad dash out of range. That idea was rapidly depleting as he had to fight for his life before he could even think of escape.

Perceiving the man somewhat stunned, Kakashi spun to deal a heavy blow and abruptly halted when a bolt of searing pain fissured the skin from his shoulder to his opposite hip, like a lash from a whip of fire. He collapsed to the ground with a thud and just managed to roll out of the way of the death blow behind a tree when his opponent came eagerly after him, moving surprisingly fast for a man of his size.

Blackness burst before his eyes with the overbearing pain and the last thing he glimpsed before he lost all sight for a few terrifying breaths was a blur of pink hair, and he wondered if an angel in the form of Sakura had been sent to bring him to his final resting place.

Instead of coming to him in a graceful stride to wrap him in light and take him home, she leaped over him and pulled her fist back to deal a skull-shattering blow to his opponent. He tumbled backward and fell just as she drew her fist back for the second time and sent it rushing toward the earth, renting the ground around the man until he was swallowed up in a grave of dirt and roots.

By this time several of the guards had poured out of the house and onto the lawn between the gate and the forest, attracted by the sounds of battle and hopes that the intruder was still around to pulverize. Sakura sprinted back toward where Kakashi was steadily bringing himself to stand and immediately placed her hands on the weeping diagonal gash twisting the skin of his back.

Relief washed through him and he felt a slight sense of renewal, but at the same time he was aware of how fast his strength was waning. Thankful for the moment of soothing euphoria, he inhaled deeply, and caught the scent of Sakura's perfume.

While her chakra wove back together the worst of the wound, she placed her forehead between his shoulder blades in wordless greeting.

"Thank you," he whispered and tilted his head back.

The bubble encasing their moment burst as the cronies swarmed out to meet them with hellfire at their heels. Sakura, finished for the moment, walked to Kakashi's right side and took her fighting stance, unwavering and still in the face of possible defeat.

It didn't matter. He was beside her, and she beside him, and all was right with the world, it seemed.

With a roar, they both lurched forward with all the vigor in their limbs.

Sakura, utilizing the precious knowledge from Tsunade, felled many guards with only a few strikes, stunning many of them with her unreal strength and precision. Kakashi laid several of the ninja down, but the wound marring his back threw off some of his attacks, earning him a few more injuries.

They both fought with valiance and went forward tirelessly into the heart of battle, a fierce tag-team that both startled and amazed some of the cronies. Still, they came after them like criminals, and began to wear them down to a very noticeable degree.

For the most part they remained intact until one guard shattered one of Sakura's legs, rendering her unable to stand without trembling and crying out. Unable to heal herself in the thick of the fight, Kakashi came to her aid, although his might was being eroded as well.

In a last show of desperation, Kakashi set a nearby tree on fire as a distraction, heaved Sakura up on his back and sprinted for the forest.

Grateful for the relief from the pressure on her broken leg, Sakura used the remainder of her energy to partially heal up Kakashi's deepest wounds and mend up the worst of her leg. Kakashi's fanned hands under her thighs comforted her despite the pain radiating through both their bodies, and she reached down to lay her fingers over his. He grasped them in the spaces between his own as he continued on at an adrenaline-filled pace.

He wove through the trees and at times leaped up onto higher branches to try and lose the small tail that had been fast enough to follow. Gradually they dropped off until Sakura could hear their voices no more and Kakashi's steps lessened to a softer rhythm, becoming laborious and heavy.

"Kakashi," she whispered as exhaustion washed over her. She felt it hit him like a ton of bricks; he could barely go on.

"We will make it," he replied thickly. "We will make it through this day."

Only able to manage a few more steps, he stopped. Sakura gently lowered herself from his back and fell against the tree, sliding down it to rest her rear on the forest floor. Kakashi did the same beside her and reached out for her hand.

She accepted his feeling fingers and wove her own through his, squeezing as tightly as she could manage, trying to hold him away from the edge that he was slowly sliding over.

He was still bleeding from many wounds and consciousness was failing, but she was determined to tether him to her and keep him with her; he could feel it in her grasp and the way she looked at him.

He let his head fall back against the bark and smiled weakly, closing his eyes.

"I needed you and you came."

"I always will, Kakashi," she replied softly, her head lolling onto his shoulder.

His heart beat firmly in his chest at her response, but he knew with a sinking feeling that if he didn't get proper medical attention within the next few hours, he would be lost to her.

With all the residual drops of strength and willpower he had left, he ground his teeth together and kept awake, even as his vision blurred and head swam. And during his fight to stay afloat, he had the clearest thought.

Sometimes the truest expression of love is not dying for the one you call yours – it's wrestling with death itself to stay alive just for them.


	9. Open Your Eyes

"**Open Your Eyes" by Snow Patrol.**

**And this is how the story ends.**

…

Kakashi, against his wishes, had finally fallen under the wave of unconsciousness, but he had let Sakura know that he was still fighting the good fight by grunting and groaning in his tired and weary state.

Sakura struggled to keep her own eyes open and alert for any possible trackers that had decided to sniff them out. It wouldn't take much to find them, but Sakura was grateful that no one had tried. Yet.

The minutes dragged by as Sakura attempted to deny herself the pleasure of giving into her unfocused vision and closing her eyes. Her head felt heavy even while it rested on Kakashi's shoulder. She could hear him breathing softly beside her and it was the only noise in the forest that she deemed important.

Watching the sunspots leaking through the swaying leaves, Sakura wondered how they were going to get back to Konoha. Neither of them was in walking condition and Kakashi wouldn't last much longer among the trees, and although she was in a better state, she couldn't even dream of carrying him. She barely had enough chakra left to sustain herself.

She could have cried for all the frustration and anger that swelled in her gut.

_I got all the way out here to aid him in whatever he needed. Look at the wonderful job you've done, Sakura. Can't even make it home._

But she didn't let any tears drop. Dying hand in hand with the one she loved sounded like a better ending than living without him because of her cowardice and inability to follow him into battle. Truthfully, if she hadn't lent him her assistance, he would have been slaughtered. At least now they could see each other one last time before they met their doom, and then they could greet it together.

Distant footsteps crunching through the foliage roused Sakura out of her exhausted stupor and dread settled heavily in her stomach. Her hand gripped Kakashi's tightly as she prepared to meet her end.

_They've found us. And I can do nothing to stop them._

A few thundering heartbeats later, a team of five ninja pushed through the shrubbery nearby and examined the couple against the tree. Sakura exhaled and nearly fainted at the relief that drowned her worry.

Naruto stood at the head of the group and kneeled down in front of Sakura. Another comrade knelt to check Kakashi's vitals and confirmed he was still alive. The blond placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder and he gave her his signature grin.

"Summon a messenger to send ahead of us back to the village," he called to another team member. "Tell Tsunade we found them."

Sakura had never been so happy to see a team of reinforcements in her life. They had arrived somewhat late, as far as the fighting went, but they arrived at all, and that was the only thing Sakura cared about.

The team had brought a few medics with them and they set to work almost immediately. Rolling out their supplies, they laid Kakashi and Sakura down on stretchers to begin healing them. They wouldn't do the nitty gritty stuff out in the forest; they would only do what was necessary to keep them sustained until they made it back to the village and hospital, where proper beds and operating tables would be awaiting them. But until then, chakra hummed from their hands and soothed the injured.

It had taken Kakashi a full day to get from Konoha to mission ground zero, but he had been running full speed nearly nonstop. Carrying a pair of wounded shinobi would elongate the rescue team's trip by a whole day at least.

Kakashi had surfaced for a short while before the medics raised his stretcher off the ground to tote him back to the village, and he was soon lulled back into a relaxed sleep that lasted most of the trip home. Sakura was in and out much more frequently and every time she came to, she glanced over at Kakashi to see if he was gazing at her also. She knew he was alive – that was a solid fact in her mind – but with a desperation she couldn't put to words, she needed him to open his eyes and look into hers, to see the flickering flame of life dancing in his irises and feel that he was truly there alongside her.

During the chaos of battle, she had been acutely aware of him; when he dodged a fire attack, she felt the heat; when a kunai had sunk deep into the sinew of his shoulder, she had felt it buried in her own. Now that the fury and flurry of it was over and they were lying close to each other on sickbeds, her sense of him was so heightened it was painful. She could feel in him like it was her own body aching down to the bones and struggling to wake from unconsciousness. Though he had been healed, he still radiated an air of injury, leaving Sakura to wonder and worry what it was that was troubling him so much while he was under. She had witnessed patients experiencing nightmares while balancing on the fence between awake and comatose, but this wasn't Kakashi's issue. Lack of a concrete answer bothered her all the way back to Konoha.

They finally arrived in the late evening of the next day and were promptly signed into the hospital for treatment. To Sakura's relief, they were placed in the same room and only divided from one another by a thin privacy curtain, allowing her to hobble over in her wrap-heavy leg and check on her roommate from time to time. Even though she was one of the injured, she couldn't quash down her medical inclinations.

Kakashi remained still and unaffected for a long time while a few medics worked on the wounds that needed chakra attention. Once he was done being healed up and his lesser injuries had been wrapped in gauze, Tsunade had come to visit them.

Kakashi hadn't stirred at her presence, but Sakura had been awake, watching the little twitches that came over his face every now and again.

"Tsunade-shishou," Sakura greeted, bowing her head.

"Sakura," Tsunade replied in kind. She pulled up a chair and sat next to the pinkette's bed. "I understand you were primarily successful in your mission." She motioned to Kakashi with a red-nailed hand.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama."

"Kakashi will have to write up a report later, but I want to hear your side of the story. Please, enlighten me."

Sakura spent the next few uninterrupted hours explaining her side of the mission to the Hokage from the very start of her journey to the moment Naruto found them covered in wounds and waiting to die. The older woman simply sat there and nodded her head at the critical moments, but otherwise didn't say a word.

Once Sakura had finished, she asked Tsunade a question that had been tickling at the back of her mind.

"Tsunade-shishou, how did the team meant for our rescue get to us so quickly? It's easily a day's travel, but they got to us shortly after our battle was over."

Tsunade smiled and pushed herself up from the chair.

"The day after you left to go after Kakashi, I received a scroll from Pakkun. At first I had thought he was delivering Kakashi's report of failure and death, but it turned out to be a simple request of a small team of reinforcements to come aid him. Instead he got you, but it seems that was for the best. Naruto's squad had originally been sent out to assist in battle, but their purpose shifted to rescue since they got there just a little too late."

Sakura didn't say anything for a long time and stared down at the ugly blanket covering her toes.

"Thank you for fulfilling his request. I understand it was technically against the rules to send out a squad for a mission such as that."

"I deemed the mission lacking proper explanation and description, thus rendering it over-qualified for a one-man only operation. He won't be penalized for requesting backup; it was the proper thing to do in his position. If he had an ego on him, though, he probably would have been made into a trophy. That's what makes him very nearly the perfect ninja: he's not in it for the money, or the glory, and he can think logically despite numbers and threats, and can admit when something is too difficult for him alone."

Sakura bent at the waist in her bed and almost touched her nose to her knees in the grandest bow she could manage.

"Shishou," she began.

"You don't need to thank me again, Sakura," Tsunade murmured. "If it weren't for you, he wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed and the sheet would be pulled all the way over his head."

With a nod and a grateful smile from Sakura, Tsunade clasped her hands behind her back and left the room, leaving Kakashi and Sakura alone once again.

He still remained motionless.

The next few hours found Sakura drifting in and out of sleep as the sun finally sank away from the village, withdrawing her warm, reaching fingers and replacing them with a sheen of white light that turned everything ethereal.

She had finally fallen into a dreamless sleep when she began to hear her name called out to her in the darkness. She heard it three times before she awoke to find out it had been Kakashi shouting for her.

He was shifting restlessly in his bed under the covers, nearly kicking them all off, and continuing to call out her name. Throwing off her own sheets, she hobbled over to the chair next to his bed and grabbed his hand, kissing his bruised knuckles to calm him.

"Kakashi, I'm here," she whispered into his ear. He sucked in a deep breath and settled back into bed instantly, appearing appeased for the moment.

Sakura gazed at him, bathed in moonlight, and gave a tired smile. Yawning, she lay her head down on the bed beside their intertwined fingers and in seconds, sleep claimed her once more.

The next morning Sakura awoke to her hand still firmly holding Kakashi's. Recalling the memories of the previous night, she touched a gentle kiss to his knuckles again and watched him wake up for the first time. She smiled at him as he blinked the bleariness from his eyes and observed his surroundings.

"Good morning," she greeted, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand.

"Good morning," he replied. He looked down at her with a confused expression gracing his face. "Why aren't you in your own bed? Surely that chair wasn't comfortable to sleep in."

Surprised at this, Sakura scrutinized him for a few seconds before realizing he had called out to her subconsciously, while still very much in the depths of sleep. He hadn't been aware of his calling out to her in the middle of the night.

"You seemed lonely," was all she said in reply.

His eye crinkled in a smile.

"Not anymore."

A little while later, Naruto came in to visit with them, having been notified that Kakashi was conscious again.

He sat with Sakura beside Kakashi's bed and recounted his experience of the last few days.

"Tsunade called me into her office and I thought I was in trouble, but then she told me to create a team of ninja to go after Kakashi since he had requested back-up. She told me that you had already gone ahead, Sakura-chan, and that I should leave as soon as physically possible. I didn't waste any time, but when we came upon you in the forest looking pretty dead already, I was never going to forgive myself for not being faster.

"But then our medics checked your vitals and you woke back up, Sakura, if only for a moment, and I couldn't believe my luck."

Sakura placed a hand over Naruto's.

"It was good that you came when you did; if you had been slower, we might not be here, as alive as we are," she said gently.

He grinned hugely and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

"Thank you, Naruto," Kakashi said with a nod. "I should reward your efforts."

Naruto's eyes lit up.

"Does Ramen sound good?"

The blond leaped from his chair and punched a fist up at the ceiling.

"Sensei, you're the best!"

Sakura giggled and laced her fingers through Kakashi's, startling at the feeling his icy cold skin. Being in the hospital for such a long time was not doing him much good besides the treatments.

Naruto was completely oblivious to the way they looked at each other and instead bounced around the room in excitement before leaving to attend to some other duties Tsunade had for him.

Almost immediately after he had jumped out of the room, Shizune came by to inform them on behalf of Lady Tsunade that they were allowed to discharge themselves from the hospital if they desired. She looked pointedly at Kakashi as she said this, as he had many a time slipped from the building without proper clearance to leave. The man simply smiled back at her, feigning innocence.

Without a word of discussion, they both made their way back to his apartment. It was late in the day, bordering on evening, and the sun was falling away and taking the heat with it. The lack of sunbeams did not extinguish the fire in Sakura's soul, though; she was getting more and more charged with each step closer to his apartment. This was because she knew there would be no public boundaries to keep them from each other behind closed doors.

_We can do what we like._

Kakashi seemed to feel it too, despite his achy muscles, and escorted her through the door without slowing the pace.

Once inside and the door was latched home, he tangled her in his arms and fell back onto the couch, bouncing them softly. Sakura laughed and curled her own arms around him. He sighed into her neck and she felt his eyelash brush her skin as it closed, sending a shiver through her.

"You are so warm," he murmured, bringing her tighter to his body.

Sakura smiled and placed a slow kiss on his cheek.

"After these past few days, this feels so strange. So…untrue. In those last moments fighting, I wasn't thinking about afterwards, because there didn't seem to be one, and now that it's happening…well, I'm glad it's happening," Sakura said while brushing her fingers through his unruly silver hair.

"And now that it's happening," he replied in a soft voice, "I won't waste a single minute without you."

In a mutual action, they knotted their fingers together and lay there on the couch in silence and contentment.

It wasn't until Kakashi's breathing slowed and Sakura realized he was falling asleep that she felt the weight of the mission on them both. Their bodies were exhausted, and the adrenaline that had washed through their veins and dripped away left them in a bit of a daze.

Moving like a drunk, Sakura managed to pull Kakashi up from the couch and stagger them both into the bedroom. He fell onto the coverlet in a heap as Sakura untucked it and drew it close around the two of them. His eyes were open, just a little, watching her; as soon as she crawled up beside him and laid her head on his chest, he fell back asleep.

A few hours later, Sakura's bladder had bothered her enough to wake her. Very quietly, in a way only a ninja has mastered, she slithered from Kakashi's arms and disappeared into the bathroom to do her business quickly.

Still as soundless as could be, she reappeared through the bedroom doorway to find Kakashi sitting up beneath the covers, head back against the simple wooden headboard and eyes half-lidded. Sakura slipped back under the blanket to his side with a gentle expression softening her features.

Immediately Kakashi's hands went around her waist and pulled her as close to him as he could, trapping her in his strong arms. Sakura stroked a finger over his closed _sharingan_ eye before laying her palm over it to pump a trickle of chakra into it.

"I was so quiet, I didn't think I would wake you," she whispered.

"It had nothing to do with noise," he replied, bringing his forehead down to hers and shutting his other eye. "You were gone and I felt it. That was it."

Sakura made a sad noise and laid her head on his chest.

"As long as you want me here, Kakashi, this is where I will be. Right beside you."

He opened both his eyes and gazed deeply into hers. The look in their depths nearly brought Sakura to tears; it would take a while for her to get used to his tender, vulnerable side.

"Would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to stay…forever?"


End file.
